


Cowardice or another universe.

by lieutenant_ofthe_shadows



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: F/F, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 21:25:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15470388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lieutenant_ofthe_shadows/pseuds/lieutenant_ofthe_shadows
Summary: A choice can radically change someone's life. Fleur is thinking if the decision she made all those years ago was worth in the end if there wasn't another outcome.Does she regret what she decided?*In theory in First Person*





	Cowardice or another universe.

**Author's Note:**

> In cursive are most of the thoughts written.  
> This is not a "Happy ever After" ending, I don't think it's sad but it's not happy either.  
> I tried to write it in 1st person, but I'm not really good at it.  
> I didn't wrote the French accent because Fleur has been living a long time in Britain and I was lazy too.

Another year and another Christmas gathering. It’s been 20 years since the defeat of Lord Voldemort, yet it has been longer, 23 years, since I met my mate and made a decision.

First without being conscious of my choice and then embracing it, like a no turning point.

Now I do not recall or want to remember if when I accepted that I did it with determination or with resignation. I was young, if you consider being 17 as young, I was under the Triwizard tournament pressure, a brewing war was soon to come.

But all those are excuses, yes they were real threats and they might have conditioned my decision, but the truth is I was an utter and completely coward, hiding behind the situation and choosing the easy thing in views of society and those who were my own standards. This choice has brought me happy things, moments of despair and regret, and an uncontrollable longing for my true love. Bill is an exceptional man yet I sometimes feel like I’m betraying that love.

 

Perhaps I could have had my mate’s love if I had been brave enough, and not the coward I was and still am, that I could have had at the reach of my hand but was a fool and afraid, thinking I was doing the right thing for both of us.

I sometimes wish  that I never married Bill, nevertheless that decision has brought me the joy of my life, my 3 children. Thinking of them brought me back the fact that I was still in the family Christmas party, and that my daughter Victorie was probably kissing Teddy again, Domenique was with certainly pulling some pranks with his cousin James, and well Louis nerding out with… Scorpius? What was he doing in there? Ah. He’s Albus best friend.

 

But what really snapped me out of my daze was the sudden feeling of a hand in my shoulder, I was about to turn and snap to however it was when the person spoke. “Are you okay Fleur? You’ve been staring the same glass of champagne over fifteen minutes” said a voice that I recognized instantly and made my insides get nervous, Hermione.

 

“Yeah, I was just out of it for a second” replied I.

“If for a second you mean 15 minutes, sure. But I know you Fleur. At least now, and I know you’re not the empty headed and snobbish girl I thought you were when we first met, so what were you thinking?”

“I… I was thinking about you know the children, how fast time slips away, Bill,...” I answered.  _“And you, I was thinking about you”_

 

She was in front of me and her deep brown eyes staring into my soul, reading me like one of the oh so many books she devoured, her bushy hair loosely hanging. I could not hold her gaze any longer so I looked her body, huge mistake,  _“She’s gorgeous, and that dress suits her incredibly. Magnifique”_ I thought, " _Stop, stop! Think of Bill, you are married, she is married and both of you are parents, she will never be your mate it’s too late you coward”._

“Fleur? Fleur! Is everything alright between you and Bill?”

“Everything is okay, I think I’m just a little overwhelmed today”

“Are you sure? Is it… Is it perhaps your mate? You met them?” shuttered Hermione lowering her voice, afraid of saying something that would make me uncomfortable, and it did.

“How do you know that? Nobody outside Veela know that, not even a magical creatures researcher has figured out that. It is a very zealous guarded secret among the Veela race.”

“Whilst I was in magical law I promoted laws against the judgement and under categorization of species that we wizards deemed as less than us, so I decide in order to do that I had to know them, I went 1 year with a Veela tribe and I was entrusted this secret”

“That’s a very noble and hard task, it’s very you.” At the same time I mused  _“She’s so brave not like me, my brave lion, ughh this again no please, calm down you dumb Veela”_   "No it is not my mate do not worry” I finished of.

“So you know them.”

“I never implied such thing”

“Fleur…” said she in a warning tone.

“Hermione, no. I do not know who it is, and they are better off without me. I’m happy with Bill and I’m quite sure they are happy as well. The end” I harshly bit back. A serie, 1st statement lie, second true, 3rd lie, 4th true.

 

_ You are happy with Ron, and I should be happy with Bill who loves me unconditionally. Yet I can’t suppress the feeling you cause me, the butterflies in my stomach when you smile, the pride I feel when you accomplish something you worked hard for, when you are in lion, justice mode… the wave of affection that overflows me. These feelings that increased as I have come to know you. _

 

“Can I ask one last question?”

“Of course” How can I deny you anything?

“If you had met your mate, and yet married Bill, how can you survive without that person? And what if your mate had died in the war?”

 

_ Merde!! Deep breaths and answer with that beautiful brain you have in theory. _

 

“That’s more than one question. For the first, the answer is as I would not have bonded with the person I wouldn’t need them constantly to ensure my survival, yet I would require a close relationship, at least that allowed see that person in a weekly or monthly manner. Otherwise I would suffer from tiredness, bad sleeping and or sickness. For the second one, I still would not be bonded with the person and it would depend on the feelings I hypothetically harboured for them, depending of how  deeply I loved them. If I loved them as if we were mated I would have died, if not, the range of damage would decrease based on that”

“Wow. That’s a lot, and very complicated thing you would have to handle”  _Tell me about it._ “Thank you for satisfying my curiosity even though you didn’t have to” She flashed me a huge smile, that could render me to my knees.

“Nothing to thank me for. I should find Dominique before she and James do something really bad.”

“Yeah you should” Again that smile.

 

With that I left to seek my youngest daughter and try to enjoy the rest of the party. At one point Bill came and kissed me, said he was tired and wanted to leave I just nodded and we both called our children.

We said our goodbyes and out of the corner of my eyes I saw Ronald and Hermione kissing passionately, at least she is truly happy and has a great family and career, if she is happy then I am somewhat, some way happy.

I saw her surrounded by Rose, Hugo and Ron and couldn’t help picturing me forming a family with her.

 

Perhaps in another universe this played out differently, where we got our more less happy ending. Where I had the value or a single thing changed making this picture in my head a reality. That was my last train of thought before I apparated away with a pop to the house where the family I had formed regardless of my feelings for her lived. 


End file.
